Yo! What a tricky situation have we landed ourselves in! So many articles like this one have covered “How to stop your crush from falling for someone else.” But what if that someone else is your friend!
Would you react like this?
or like this?
One thing you should be mindful of before reading on is the ‘situation setup’ behind the article. I decided to write this article for my friend Ram. Now Ram had just started talking to his crush after determined efforts. Somewhere down the lane, he had to introduce her to his friend Mike, who’s a dancer. Further down the lane, Mike ended up in a relationship with Ram’s crush. That left my buddy feeling hurt for life, and me in the pursuit of a solution people like him.
While this article can have a more general sense, it is more about a specific situation. One where you have just started talking to your crush. You’re in the initial stages of courting and there is this friend you introduced by mistake! Now you’re afraid he/she is going to fall for your cooler friend!
While doing my research on this, I found out that this is a really common problem! Look at these users on forums like Reddit, Quora and Relationship talk!
Look at the anger of the person who posted this in Relationship talk:
My guess is you’re in one of these situations:
1. You’re afraid to introduce your crush to your friend for obvious reasons.
2. You’ve had to make introductions and now you find that they both seem to be building an alarming rapport.
3. You are certain your crush has built a liking towards your friend.
Don’t worry, this is actually one of the best situations for you to be in! Why? Read on.
Why it’s a great situation to be in:
For the following reasons:
1. If at all your crush shows signs of interest towards your friend, that gives us clarity on one thing. Your crush is on the look out for a relationship.
By introducing him/ her to your (cooler) friend, you get to know what attracts your crush. It could be the looks, or character. Profession perhaps?
It is also a chance for you to assess the real character of your eye candy and his interest towards you.
That being said, we don’t want to feel foolish having lost our find to that one friend, do we?
Here’s what we have to do to avoid that!
1. Assess each other’s interest for the other:
Don’t just be suspicious – analyze. Both your friend and your crush should be instinctively aware of your heart throb. Now in such a situation, both of them being mindless of your position is dangerous. There can only be three possibilities:
Your crush is interested– your friend ain’t: You are safe, but you might want to reconsider your crush.
Your friend is interested– your crush ain’t: Good! We are safe. We can deal with the friend later.
Both of them are interested – Ok. Good. We’ve confirmed the bad news.
2. Come out with your love boldly:
This is the time for you to come out strong. Confidence is the key to a successful proposal. Look at this article by Lady Lux. I can’t agree more to the 6 reasons why confident people make the best partners. You have to understand that your love for someone is something you cherish. Others accepting it or not is their choice. Talk to your crush about your love. With your knowledge of what interests your crush, corner him/her with love.
You should also talk to your friend about your love for that person. A better idea would be to ask suggestions on making a successful proposal. By coming out with your love first, you’ve made things clear to both of them.
Remember how having to face your crush and your friend together seemed frightening? By informing your wishes you offer yourself the chance to stop seeing them both. Should they get together, that is.
3. Play it cool:
So you let your crush and your friend know. But nothing’s changed. It seems like both have made their choice. Now, what do we do?
Although it seems like a good option, that ain’t what we should be doing. Here’s the thing, getting out of this possible love triangle with ease is important. Soon people are going to notice your situation and will be waiting to see how you react. At least, that is what we fear. Thus playing it cool is detrimental to your personality. How do we do that?
1. Accept the fact that it is somebody’s choice:
People make choices for various reasons. You must accept their choice and not ponder upon why they might have made that choice.
2. Don’t save your face:
Don’t try to save your face in front of friends? Why should we be doing that? Face all the friends who might make fun of you for having lost your crush to your friend! Such opinions hurled at you are venomous. Save yourself by talking to them on a serious note. Another
3. Don’t let go of the love:
The best way to show your personality and class is this: Show them you still care. Let your crush know that he/she can still avail your love. Let that friend of yours know that you’re still that loving pal.
4. Find your freedom:
Yes, coming out of this knot is freedom! Don’t give into anything that will tie back into it. Discover new romance and have your life. Don’t wait for the others!
While you can or cannot stop your crush from falling for someone else, you can save yourself. Giving in to trigger reactions and leading yourself to emotional breakdown is unnecessary. Trace out the rational thinking outlined above and move on!
Was my buddy Ram’s situation relatable to you? Did you find the solution apt? Or do you wish to add something to it? Do let me know in the comments. Don’t forget to share the post to a needy friend!